discover fire

If you hang out with me enough, like over the span of a couple of minutes, chances are I’ll quote a movie, or reference a movie, or interrupt you if I get tired of hearing you talk and create a chance to hear my own voice and suggest you go see a movie… and I like to write run on sentences.

Over the last three days, I felt movie withdrawals, and with the amazing movies that are out, my wonderful wife and I decided to actually go to the theater a couple of times. Not the theater where real people get up on stage and act, but that place with the films and the funky colored walls where water costs $4.00.

Of the four movies I’ve seen in the last three days, I actually have a new favorite movie to add to my kind of short list of all time favorites. I’ll run down all four and see if you can guess which one I’m adding to my all time favorites (and two are extremely close runner ups).

Nominee #1 - Transformers

There were two scenes in this movie that totally and completely rocked. Two very excellent scenes. The first one: the opening scene where the Army base gets annihilated. That’s the way evil robots should be, totally bad ass at kicking ass! The second one: when the parents bust into the kid’s room and catch the hot babe hiding behind his desk. What happened to the rest of the movie? Utter crap, that’s what. Remember, makers of the Transformers movie, your job is not to make the next Spiderman out of metal and plastic toys (hearkening back to a time when I didn’t know what lead paint was), your job is to take what you’re handed and do one better. Since it appears you failed at that, here is my recommendation for study before taking on your next movie:

• Barney & Friends
• Teletubbies
• Battlefield Earth
• and my personal favorite Showgirls

Remember, if at first you don’t succeed, baby steps. Baby steps.

Nominee #2 - Ratatouille

If it’s a sole Disney title, other than few select ones, I tend to want to burn the movie in the garbage can. If it has Pixar on the title, then you can guarantee I’m going to see the movie. Monster’s Inc. is one of my absolute favorite movies of all time, and I can watch it over and over and over again. Forewent fireworks on 4th of July and took Janna’s parents out to see this. It is absolutely wonderful! I recommend everyone see this movie. I cried. And after you go see it, grow a pair of testicles and admit that you cried, too. Pixar, you did it again! This movie takes a few of my favorite stories (even presenting a cameo inspired by How the Grinch Stole Christmas) and wraps them all up in a wonderful package.

Nominee #3 - Deliverance

I’m a boy. I grew up with lots of funny guy friends. I have known for about 20 years that Deliverance involves pigs and squealing and male rape and mountain men and banjos. In my ever-expanding queue of movies, this one never made it to the top. I’m disappointed I haven’t watched it before today. Awing and awful, a true masterpiece. Now that I’ve seen this, compared to the other Heart of Darkness-like movies I’ve seen, this one wins. Hands down. Plus, it was a kick seeing Burt Reynolds, a mere 36 years old.

Nominee #4 - About Schmidt

Eh, why wait, this is the winner. Yes, of all these movies, About Schmidt goes on to my not overly large list of all time favorite movies. This is another one that I had meant to see when it came out. Well, missed it in the theaters, and then waited for it to inch up my blockbuster.com queue. I have not much to say other than this movie is sheer genius, from start to finish. I have utter respect for a group of people who get together and make a movie that accomplishes what it set it out to accomplish. Nothing more, nothing less. (Let’s say, by chance, someone who worked on the movie reads this, I LOVED the many different symbols. Simple, yet appropriate and unforced. The color of the paint in Kathy Bates’s living and dining room is my favorite.) I cried in this movie, too, just for the record. [Edit. I do have something to add to this. I believe everyone should watch this movie. It beautifully describes a very powerful take on redemption and self-realization, much like that seen in White and the Shawshank Redemption. Then again, if you haven't done any self discovery recently, I'd suggest turning off your television and doing something else for a change. About Schmidt will be there when you get back.]

Side Note: One of the reason’s Monster’s Inc. is on my all time favorite list is because of a special challenge it passed. I love action movies, and gross movies, and horror movies, and adult comedies… you get the picture. But Monster’s Inc. did something I have never seen done before. Monster’s Inc. took all of the elements I love in my aforementioned movie types and accomplished them, flawlessly, and all with a G Rating (in the US). Now that, movie makers, is a challenge I lay down to the rest of you. So far, no one has done it like the Monster’s Inc. team did.

Additional Side Note: If you think making me cry is going to get you on my all time favorite list, guess again. I cried at Independence Day and Ghostbusters II (when I was like a fetus and didn’t know any better), and you don’t see those films listed anywhere but in this little additional side note section.